this beer tastes like vomit already
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
