I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
