We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
