I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
