Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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