It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
