I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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