butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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