Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
do nipples grow back?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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