I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
