Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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