I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
