He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
