Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
