Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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