didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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