so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize