I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
