I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize