Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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