Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
