please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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