I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
