Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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