I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
