I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
