I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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