I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
