She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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