Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
where are my eyebrows?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize