It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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