Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
