I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
