it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
