There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
