Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
