Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Enjoy the penises
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
