if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
