She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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