new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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