I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
