Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize