i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
