I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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