you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
