I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
