the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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