We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have post one night stand depression
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
