Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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