btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
