walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
