I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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