I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
