We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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