We won't sleep together?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is classic penis vs brain.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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