I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize