He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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