Where did you get a picture of my penis
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
