i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
