Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize