I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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