i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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