I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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