So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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