Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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