You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
