So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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