I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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