I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
