If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
