I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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