do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
