I bet he comes in French.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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