I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
