she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
